Post by shakfar on May 11, 2009 17:50:03 GMT -6
Well the movie starts out with the USS Kelvin encountering a lightning storm in space and then the uexpected happened a very large ship exits the storm and beggins to fire apoun the USS Kelvin so the ship hails the USS Kelvin and tells the captain to come abourd for the descussion of a ceas fire well the captain tells Mr. Kirk (james kirk's father) that he is in charge so he goes into the larger ship and his heart rate elevates so the romulans (turns out thet the ship is a romulan drilling vessle) ask him questions about a ship that he has never seen and about ambasator Spok (wow right) the captain says that he is not aquanted with an ambasator spock so the romulans ask him the stardate and the captain answers but i froget what it was so the leader of the romulans is unhappy with his answer and jamms a tridant through the captains heart (by this point i lean over and whisper in my dads ear "they must have used timetravel") the romulan mining veesle resume their attack on the USS KELVIN and Mr. Kirk enherits the duty of captain so he evacuates the ship but stays behind so the life pods and shuttles can get away on one of the shuttles miss Kirk delivers the baby that will be james Kirk so Mr. kirk ramms the USS Kelvin right into the launch bay of the romulan ship
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several years later
kirk is driving an old mustang down the highway and he is on the phone with i dont know mabey his step dad? but anyway kirk hangs up while the mystery man is in mid scentance and then a robocop starts chasing him on a flying motor cycle SO kirk drives the car off of a CLIFF jumps out at the last second and says to the cop " is their a problem officer?" the cop asks kirk his name and he answers James Tiberius Kirk and then the scene changes to show spock as a young boy answering questions to a machine so after his test a group of bullys start picking on him but he dosent show any emoshinal responce so they start talkin smack about spoks mom a nd start getting phisical so spock whoops the $hit out of them and he gets in trouble now they go back tho kirk and he is about 20 by this point he is at a bar checkin out awhora and tries to buy her a drink but she declines and starts tellin him that he looks like a farm boy who only has sex with farm animals so somehow a fight is starded by a couple of federation puncks at first kirk is beatin their @sses but the start to whoop him and then captain pike breaks the fight up and tells kirk that if he is half the man his father was then if he joined the star fleet then he could have his own ship in 4 years so then you see kirk drivin down the road on a hog with no spokes (you notice that the fence that he is drivin by still has tea posts WTF) he jives his hog to a compleet stranger and tells pike that he will hav his own ship in only 3 years and then he getts on the ship bound for starfleen acadamy
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now we see spok in front of the high councel they are sayin he is accepted into the the scienc acadamy but spock abasickly seas screw that im goin to starfleet acadamy and the high command is very upset with this
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3 years later we see kirk tellin his buddy that he needs to go stidy for some super hard test that nowone has ever passed that he has already faild 2 times at so the other guy seas study my but and then the scene changes and we se kirk gettin it on with a green chick and awhora walks in kirk hides under the bed awora starts takin her cloths off and kirk is chekin her out then she hears him breathing so he has to go now what a pitty
i will resume this revew in a bit but right now im takin a break
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several years later
kirk is driving an old mustang down the highway and he is on the phone with i dont know mabey his step dad? but anyway kirk hangs up while the mystery man is in mid scentance and then a robocop starts chasing him on a flying motor cycle SO kirk drives the car off of a CLIFF jumps out at the last second and says to the cop " is their a problem officer?" the cop asks kirk his name and he answers James Tiberius Kirk and then the scene changes to show spock as a young boy answering questions to a machine so after his test a group of bullys start picking on him but he dosent show any emoshinal responce so they start talkin smack about spoks mom a nd start getting phisical so spock whoops the $hit out of them and he gets in trouble now they go back tho kirk and he is about 20 by this point he is at a bar checkin out awhora and tries to buy her a drink but she declines and starts tellin him that he looks like a farm boy who only has sex with farm animals so somehow a fight is starded by a couple of federation puncks at first kirk is beatin their @sses but the start to whoop him and then captain pike breaks the fight up and tells kirk that if he is half the man his father was then if he joined the star fleet then he could have his own ship in 4 years so then you see kirk drivin down the road on a hog with no spokes (you notice that the fence that he is drivin by still has tea posts WTF) he jives his hog to a compleet stranger and tells pike that he will hav his own ship in only 3 years and then he getts on the ship bound for starfleen acadamy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
now we see spok in front of the high councel they are sayin he is accepted into the the scienc acadamy but spock abasickly seas screw that im goin to starfleet acadamy and the high command is very upset with this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 years later we see kirk tellin his buddy that he needs to go stidy for some super hard test that nowone has ever passed that he has already faild 2 times at so the other guy seas study my but and then the scene changes and we se kirk gettin it on with a green chick and awhora walks in kirk hides under the bed awora starts takin her cloths off and kirk is chekin her out then she hears him breathing so he has to go now what a pitty
i will resume this revew in a bit but right now im takin a break